A word from heaven.

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

I'm backsliding... yeah. leaving church...

I'm sad to say that some of you will have to know this through my blog. I'm too ashamed to face you people to tell you personally that I've not been doing well for quite a period of time. I need a break from church. Don't ask me what happened, don't message me, treat it as i never existed in your life before. As for my ministry, i believe there are enough people around who'll cover for what i have been doing. I'm sorry if you're affected.

You may ask how can i just leave like that. What about my commitments to God and to the church. What about my dreams to want to go church planting.
You see, in this world, commitment is no longer valued. Its old fashion. We don't see couples being together for long anymore! The divorce rate is also going higher by the year. So much for the wedding vows. Yeah, i made a mistake to commit in the past, now i'm repenting.

You may ask, what about all my praise and worship session of God? I even taught the Word before! With my own lips i praised God and with this own lips I am saying that he is not real.
You see, i have always been going to church because it of my friends. When i worshiped God, i don't even know if he is there. It was a feeling thing. Now, i need to pursue other things in my life, like a new girl friend whom i met last week. She is just an angel.

"So its about a girl?"
Partly. I guess i'm at an age i just want to enjoy life and not think so far ahead.

What about all the time you invested in the church. All the effort you put in?
I wasn't forced. I did it willingly. Take it as a phase and season in my life.

What about the Holy Spirit Bap where you experienced the holy spirit and spoke in tongues and the Water Bap where you proclaim your faith to everyone?!? You were surely visibly touched by God?
That's a thing of the past. It is not relevant to what i want to do in this stage of my life now.

"What about those friends you'll disappoint?"
We can still be friends beyond church right? Don't tell me that just because i don't join them for service means we can't catch up regularly?

"What about the covenants you made with your spiritual buddies to want to last the race? Do they mean nothing to you"
Say say only right? Nothing is written in black and white. We'll soon forget about it after some time and move on with our own lives. I'm sure the covenant does not mean so much to them as well.

"What about your group and responsibility? People's faith will be shaken because of this! "
They won't die without me. If they leave because i leave, then too bad.

"Jie Hui, you were the person who taught me about commitments to church, now you are going back on what you taught me."
I have no answer for this.

"Jie Hui, are you emo-ing, let us talk things through in a rational manner"
There is nothing to talk about.

"Jie Hui, Are you going through a tough and confusing time now? Maybe we can pray and seek God"
Yeah, things are tough, that's why i can't commit to God anymore.

"But that doesn't make sense...."
Good bye. See you in hell.

Regards,

shockerbolt

Hey peeps! before you send me messages and ask me what happened, don't worry, i'm still as committed to God as ever. You can breathe easy now. What i said above was not suppose to be a prank on you. But its suppose to show you certain truths about backsliding and how ugly the whole thing about backsliding actually is.

The thing is though the world no longer value commitment, it does not make it any less beautiful. In fact it makes it even more valuable. When i make a covenant to my spiritual buddies, to my group, to my leaders and most important, to God, i really mean it and i will die to live out my commitment. So, think carefully before you make a commitment to last the race with someone! Don't just say and leave when there are tough times.

I remember the 4 other people who pioneered the NS ministry with me all left the church. Yeah, to an extent, i am still disappointed in them for not keeping the word when we said we want to build up the ministry. It hurt me so much when one by one they left at different times. What did the covenant mean to them? I still keep my part of the covenant till today. I will last the race. Having said that, no one is indispensable. It is true that many others will continue to race even when some fall. The church will survive as it has for the past 2000 years. In fact it is the other way round, the church is indispensable to us.

I always question people who leaves the church this question. "You mean when you sang praise of God during P & W, God was real, and now when you hit tough times, God is not?" So what happened to all your prayers and spiritual talk? Some of you have even taught the word of God at different settings before. You mean all those were fake? Come on! Who are you trying to kid?

Next, let's talk about the divorce analogy i hope will help build up your faith.

You see, in a marriage, you know that if you want to keep the relationship strong, there are a few taboo words that cannot come in even in the worse of arguments. The marriage may hit the rocks, you may be cold warring for months but if you are determined to see the marriage last till old age, you know that the few words can never surface are "divorce" "separation" "go to the lawyer's office". You know that when a couple always hang such words around in their quarrels, even if they reconcile in the end, the marriage will never be strong.

In the same way, there are a few taboo words i hope you will build in your own personal walk with God around. Just as in a guy-girl relationship, divorce needs to be thrown out of the window, in your own walk with God, there should be a few taboo words as well. Words like "backslide", "leave church", "take a break form church (this is the most recent one i heard)".

The last one always amazes me. It is like saying "Hey God, i'm taking a break from heaven, and I'm going to hell for a while. I won't be back for dinner! See ya!"

You will go through dry spiritual patches. There will be different seasons. But our commitment to God means that we want to stick to him through think and thin.

So dudes, stop using words like backslide so loosely. It does nothing to help you out of the mess you are in.

If you want a strong relationship with God, commit to God! Just as God promised that he will never leave us, never forsake us, lets make the same promise to God: God, I'll never leave you, never forsake you.

Let's last the race together.

I've added a survey at the side bar for you to have your say!

Regards,

Jie Hui

Labels: Christian Living

The kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.

3 Comments

Thursday, July 31, 2008