August is a month of birthdays. I have no idea why it just that it seems as if the whole world is born during this period. With the huge lists of birthdays facing you, what is suppose to be a joyous occasion often leads to stress, hurt, unmet expectations from lousy celebrations, grudges and even broken relationships. It is ironic isn't it? If you stay long enough in the church, you can know that things can become pretty political sometimes when it comes to birthdays. Let's talk about this topic today.

I've had my fair share of bad birthday celebrations be it for myself or attending one. I think i hosted a few bad ones as well. What i am going to share is really not for you to judge others about how they celebrate your birthday. They are more for how should we celebrate other's birthdays better. "It is more blessed to give then to receive right?"

We should at the end of the day be kingdom minded. Don't fall into a state of self pity when yours is not done well. It does nothing to advance the kingdom of God. But that does not mean we do not try to improve how we celebrate other's birthdays. Move on from there. I really respect people like sengkim, every one of his birthday celebration i attended has been about the kingdom. About getting to sow on people. Salute you bro.

I'll start with some interesting observations.

1) Ideally we always say that even if no one celebrate your birthday, you should be perfectly fine. i think its ideal. but the world is not ideal right? I won't want to take this ideal chance on my cg members.

There seems to be natural expectation for people to value you, appreciate you. After all, it comes only once a year. Even if you grow yourself a lot in this area, it is at best minimized but never eliminated. I think there can be a healthy expectation when it comes to this. We are humans after all. Don't try to be so holy until you deny the fact that a bit of appreciation will make your day. However, it should be not be the drive of your ministry. It fills your emotional tank at times.

2) NEVER EVER HAVE THE BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION AS A PART OF A NORMAL MEETING.

These are absolutly the worse birthdays ever to go through. Leaders! It doesn't kill the cg or your group growth to set aside one caregroup meeting solely to celebrate a person's birthday. The problem with this type of celebration is it is never conducive and normally rushed when the birthday is celebrated. Don't see birthday as a chore and something to get out of the way even when the person has been in the cg for a very long time already. It cannot be part of a meeting agenda. So are we suppose to suddenly drop our pens and put on the party hats?

If you're a wise leader, you'll use it as a occasion to build your group and to bond people. There are many ways to bond a cg rather than a standard cg.

AND this applies for farewell or welcome cg as well. yeah...

3) Try not to celebrate birthdays together even if it is on the same day.

It never seems like a good idea to share a cake or the occasion with someone else. It is good once a year for the attention to lie squarely on you. Divided attention may not be too good an idea especially if the person tend to see birthdays highly. It may sound political, but i really think its a matter of showing appreciation in a way that the person will feel appreciated.

And never leave birthdays uncelebrated. Every birthday celebration have to be a home run. It cannot be "just another birthday"


4) As we celebrate a few more birthdays and get a little older, you can observe a few standard packages.

a) The cake - affirmation - card - prayer package.

This is the most common and readily available package used. The size of the cake depends on how much money the leader has or the caregroup is willing to fork out. If they are really broke, normally a slice of cake will do. If they are abit more generous, they will go for the full (normally bengawan solo or prima deli) cake.

It doesn't take alot of planning when it comes to this. sometimes they will add the surprise element to this. It works at times but i tell u truthfully, sometimes we try to hard to surprise. It is not like a surprise will add fireworks to the birthday.

I guess the key thing that makes this birthday package work is the affirmation. Don't rush this time. it is normally not the cake or surprise that makes it work. It is the words and affirmation. I seriously think sometimes we force affirmation out too much. it may be good to get a few people to prepare 1st before the birthday.

Personally, i don't really like cakes. i think we are an overcaked celebration. Ever tried passing the cake around and no one wants to eat it? We either end up smashing it on the face, throwing it away or packing it home. I guess cakes are for larger settings where it is less personal and more showy. :)

b) The sit down together, eat and enjoy package. (It can be overnight fellowship as well)

Personally i really enjoy these birthday celebrations. I don't need you to buy me expensive gifts (i mean if i need them i can buy them myself). But there are people with the love language of gifts. time spent catching up with one another is always so enjoyable.

This is the type of birthday celebrations i really enjoy. No need to be stressed over atmosphere or whether the birthday surprise will work.

Its good to do a round of affirmation and prayer as well.

c) House, 12 midnight visit package

We do this often in the ns ministry. Maybe because we have vehicles. But its is always good. It shows effort and normally we can share till 3-4am. It is normally for people who are not so available or not so committed.

Its a bit weird to go there empty handed. A cake, gift or a even card is normally good enough.

d) Throw a party!

Its normally for the 21st. Not really inclined towards a birthday bash cause you hardly get time with the birthday girl or boy. And normally people end up talking among themsevles.

e) The creative-tailor made package.

I love these sort of birthdays. It does not have to be expensive but it shows the amount of effort put in. Sometimes it reflects how much you treasure this friend. It shows that it is not a get over and done with thing.

There are birthday blogs that i've come across. going to the ice skating ring and get them to play the birthday song. It can be doing an extreme make over for the person. If you have abit more time, do a youtube video for him/her. Go to places where he/she always wanted to visit but never got to go there.

My point is do something different!